goat with beautiful eyes

Today a woman came up to me and stood really really close to me then even closer and said "I love that one of your eyes has a blue square in it!" so I wrote her off as insane, along with the man with a blanket at the crosswalk who told me "Today is a beautiful day to die!" and the taxi driver who told me that every time I sneeze my life is shortened by one heartbeat. And I hoped for her well-being until I remembered her in the bathroom hours later and looked in the mirror and realized she was right.

I need you to answer all these questions but you can answer them in any order you want.

1. Do eyes go blue the way hair goes gray?
2. Can I see the color blue better now? I hadn't noticed, but I also haven't looked at many blue things recently.
3. Do your eyes have blue squares in them? They might now, or they might tomorrow.



If you search "goat with beautiful eyes" that is the first photo that comes up. And this is the fifth:

cake isn't even one of them.

My doctor says that we could do a bone marrow biopsy but that there's no need because I had one recently.

A bone marrow biopsy is where they drill a hole into your back and pull out a chunk of your bones, to look at the liquid inside them. The drill they use to drill through bones is extremely loud. And then while you're lying there and the drugs are wearing off, the doctor will bring by the piece of your bone, now outside of your body, and show it to you even though you asked not to see. The scar from my bone marrow biopsy is almost invisible now which is too bad because it was my favorite scar. So I don't need a bone marrow biopsy.

"But we COULD." My doctor says, as though it might be a good back-up plan if there aren't any promising movies coming out this weekend. "And it would be so easy because you're skinny, we could do it easy."

Now I'm deciding which of my remaining scars is my favorite and there aren't a lot to chose from. I'm wondering if I should begin husbanding large cats or enroll in a left-handed welding class so my skin will have more stories to tell. My doctor is still talking about bone marrow biopsies.

"And old skinny women - oh man. There's nothing better than doing bone marrow biopsies on old skinny women. Their bones are as soft as cake."

I can think of about 48 thousand better things.

30,078 pineapple-flavored foods

30,079 seeing a feral cat

30,080 getting sand in your eyes

30,081 trying to match a ton of similar-but-slightly-different socks

30,082 when you're not sure if someone is a man or a woman

30,083 free shipping

30,084 saving enough ice cream punches to get a free cone

30,085 new jeans that dye your legs blue

30,086 accidentally shutting the car door on your seat belt

30,087 heather gray

30,088 the number four

30,089 guessing the next word in a song you don't know

What do you get when you combine sleeping and pastries?

Today I realized I have 27 Google Docs and 13 blog posts with the phrase "in the middle of the night" including this one (In the middle of the night you'll hear screaming) and this one (reading Stephen King books in the middle of the night), and this one you're reading right now.

I must think it sound romantic or relaxing, but it's also kind of embarrassing. What am I writing about so often? Haunted houses? Slumber parties? I accidentally typed "slumber pastries" and almost didn't fix it because how incredible does that sound. I don't even know what slumber pastries are but I love them.

who needs cheese reviews

If there's one thing about food we can all agree on, it's that it's not very enjoyable unless it's combined with an experiment. Which is why the last time I went to the grocery store I bought milk made from almonds, an expensive spiked fruit, and powdered peanut butter.



Also known as PB2!

If powdered peanut butter were the most popular sandwich topping and you were an astronaut going on a space mission, you would invent regular peanut butter. Powdered peanut butter is peanut butter for earthlings. I would say it's my favorite food, but I'm not sure if it's a food and I'm pretty sure it's not my favorite.

Just add water and it become spreadable. Try eating it plain and you will choke. After these two experiences I moved onto more complicated recipes, with varying results. Here are the results.

Peanut butter yogurt
If this grosses you out you're not ready for the following recipes.
Three stars. ★★★☆ 

Peanut butter eggs
This was a bad idea. Of all the types of eggs I've made (cinnamon eggs, pizza eggs, spinach eggs, pasta eggs, chili eggs, and blueberry eggs) peanut butter eggs are the definitive worst. I would only recommend them to bodybuilders or people without mouths.
Zero stars. ☆☆☆☆

Hot peanut butter water
At this point I'm probably going to lose all credibility as a peanut butter reviewer but it's worth the risk: hot water mixed with powdered peanut butter is delicious.
Four stars. ★★★★

Peanut butter applesauce
Peanut butter tastes good on apples, so I wondered does it taste good IN apples?! No, it doesn't.
One star. ★☆☆☆



In other news I might have that condition where I have a work-related accident in a factory and lose the ability to taste, but I'm also a time traveller so I lose the ability to taste BEFORE the accident actually happens.