Not much to say except CHECK OUT THIS SWEET JACKET I got at the military surplus store today.
I'm probably the coolest person you know now.
If you want me and my jacket to come to any events you're throwing, just to class things up a bit - I'm there. I can hold a guitar or play the tambourine. I can make interesting conversation if your idea of interesting conversation is quizzing people on deep-sea fish and explaining why baseball is the best sport.
If it's cold out I can pretend to smoke a cigarette and my breath will look like smoke. Invisible cigarette combined with the jacket = Wow. Very, very cool.